New Role

I'm thrilled as my new role takes place. Being a mother to be, (even by typing it sends shivers to my vein) I'm practically hyperventilating of happiness. And vomiting also, of course. I'm so tired and moody and God knows what else. But that doesn't affect anything about my happiness though.
Isn't this what I always want? Yes. This is exactly how I want it. Er mm.. not exactly. What I had in mind is more... hm mm... easy. I always imagine myself looking beautifully bloated on the stomach. And my baby will softly kicked me and I would be smiling and rubbing my baby. My dress is nothing short of fabulous. I get to wear beautiful pregnant dresses and look serenely, breathtakingly gorgeous with my swelling tummy.
Then my husband will come into the picture, looking as handsome as ever, and lovingly kissed me and our baby to be. What a beautiful picture it will be.
What I had in reality is extremely far from that. I didn't get to wear any pregnant dress yet because, lets just face it, nothing shows for 2 mths pregnant, except my own non-pregnant swelling tummy (fat I tell you, FAT!!!). I'm sure I'll look nothing like a beautiful happy pregnant lady, but look more like an indon maid, overdressed.
But even so, I do feel bloated, and I can't stop throwing out. Thank God I don't smell like vomit. Even with everything that I ate I manage to get it out, I still add few more kilos to my already overweight body. Which is actually a wonder on how did I manage to gain weight by the amount of vomit that came out of me everyday.
And my work just makes things worse. My job requires me to stare at the PC for eight hours and it adds up to my dizziness spell level to be increased. And then there's this ugly headphone attached to my head to enable customers to shout things straight to my brain. Makes things worse you see. I've been thinking to take like a whole 2 mths of leave, but then again, where will I get money from then?
Cravings is something that I still don't feel. Yes I do feel the urges to eat something different, like that day I really wanted to eat 'bubur kampung baru'. Then I have then sudden likeness to green guava. Until I vomit all out that's it, no more green guava for me. But it doesnt seems like a craving to me.
Talk about the food that I must take and musn't take. To put it in the easiest way possible, most of the food that I liked to eat, are strictly forbidden. But most of the food that I really hate to eat are top ten in my food intake list. Talk about urghhhhh...
And now I already felt dizzy by staring at this PC for too long.
By for now.