A test

Being pregnant has its up and down. Each and every single thing that anyone around me do or didn't do, disturbs me so much. One simple example, I feel hurt when my friend didn't say hi to me. It hurts me that I feel like crying. Not her fault though, because she had something going on at that time.

I also cried when I listened to certain song. It reminds me so much of how I feel about my baby and it touches my heart so much. It also hurts when my husband fell asleep downstairs while watching football. I cried all night long. Not any one's fault though. Just that my hearts is easily touched these day.

I cried again today. When the doctor show the scan to me, I was in tears. I could see my baby, so little, moving inside me. Then while driving, I cried again, remembering how the baby looks like. Its so tiring to cry all the time, because I am not someone who cries a lot. Heck, even I used to laugh at people who cried and make fun of them. What's becoming of me?

Then now at the office, I'm almost in tears again. To think about the two of us, my baby and I, what we will go through together. I will try to be the strongest person on earth, for my baby. What I have to go through just to have this baby, and what I have gone though during this 11 weeks.

The office has been a great big deal of a test as well. The calls that comes through, the idiocy of the questions asked, the volume of the calls, the complexity of it, and also with the people that I deal with. Honestly, I do not know how long I can endure this. But I will for the sake of my baby. We need the money. I'm not saying that my hub is not helping but we need all what we can have.

All this, contributed to my high blood pressure. And I need to cool down. I need help to cool down. Please help me....